Wow

I haven't posted in exactly a week.
I don't even know if anyone reads this, still.
Meh.
Well if no one reads this, then that's okay.
I still get some stuff off my chest.
And that's good.
So anyway, something I want to blog about.
First off, I am not crushing. I might sound like I'm in denial, but I know I'm not.
I have had a crush before, I remember what it feels like, it's not what I'm feeling right now.
But I still feel very very self-conscious, lately. Around more than one person, but I don't know, something in my mind is linking it to one person in particular. Whatever I say, I immediately feel like it was stupid, why'd I say it, yada yada.
I cringe at memories, of anything that went wrong.
Like, at least every day.
Not necessarily of stuff in front of that person, but memories of even stuff back when I was in 2nd grade.
2ND GRADE.
I'd really like to be able to say to my past "yeah well shut up, it wasn't even that big of a deal, it's already over, resolved, why are you still worked up about it?"
It's like, the part of my brain that just won't shut up.
And I'm ticked at it right now..