Dissapointment and more

Today was an off day. Not like one of those days were nothing can go right. This was more like one of those days where you just generally feel bad all day and nothing really seems to permanently change that. I'm not overly depressed or anything I just... don't feel good. Almost like my soul or my mind is feeling sick. I'm not entirely sure what it could be. Teenage hormones, probably. There's a little tension between me and a classmate, that could be it as well. The bright side of today was a I picked up a blank t-shirt image off the web and I'm trying my hand at designing a shirt. Let's hope that goes well.

Lately too, I've been spending a little more time in my personal fantasy land. Escape from reality, I suppose. God says we're supposed to be content with what we have, because he'll never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews... 3:5?) But I'm sure at least 99.99% of us on this planet dream of something bigger or grander in there lives. It could be anything from more cash, to three meals a day for once. I myself am no different. I don't think it's possible to argue that those dreams don't exist in reality though. We think of them while at least physically we're in reality. We might remember those, while in reality. Thus, the thoughts at least exist in reality. I've been wishing lately, that it had a grander part in reality. If I could control my dreams, or at least have some dream fufilled while I'm sleeping at night, that would be... amazing. I get to experience it, even if it is only REM sleep. My online friend Al was telling me recently about how one of his fictional characters kept appearing in his dreams... I honestly envy him. I have a couple fictional characters of my own, and I can only wish they'd appear in my dreams. I'm one of those people who can just NEVER control their dreams at all, it's completely up to my subconscious to pick what happens. Thus, I've only ever seen one of my fictional characters, or heck even had something related to my personal dream world a couple times. I suppose I could pray that I'd have such dreams more often. God could answer yes, but he could also answer no, or even wait. Lucid dreaming... I wish I had the ability to lucid dream practically every day... And I'm dissappointed every night when I can't control my dream at all, or I try and take control and accidentally wake myself up...
And that's all I have to say for now, but I don't know how to end this blog post so BLAHHHH.