It locks me up, makes me unproductive. It makes me want to throw a "f*ck", "sh*t", or some other swear word into every other sentence. It causes pain in my head and stomach. It makes me act in ways that I wouldn't normally act.
In a few days, it'll be gone, I'll have everything under control, but when it first hits, stress sucks. "Break things down into manageable pieces"
"Just relax, God's in charge"
"Go for a walk"
"Play some music"
"Dude just calm down."
All things I'm told when I'm stressed. Unfortunately, all those things do is cure my stress temporarily, it does nothing to actually get rid of the problems that are causing the stress. The only way to really REALLY get rid of it, is to get whatever it is done. (In this case it's an essay, several spanish projects, spanish test upcoming, grades, english project, chemistry assignment, karate to keep up with, church to keep up with, and more). Not all of those things are stressful in and of themselves, but together they're pretty huge. Thank you God though, at least I don't have math to worry about right now...
What's really pissing me off right now, is Spanish though. I'm doing all the work, even did some extra credit, and I'm still riding a B+/A-. Is that a BAD grade? No. Have I been working to get and KEEP an A? Yes. Yes I have. Even last semester, I was trying to keep an A in Spanish, and at the very last second, my grade dropped to a B+. I'd checked my grade like three days before the semester ended (my spanish teacher posts the grades on the web) and I had an A-. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed.
So now, I'm looking ahead and seeing the same scenario ahead. I WANT a 4.0 But my Spanish teacher just is not making it easy for me. I can do it in every other class but Spanish.
I don't know if hate is either too strong a word, or not strong enough to describe my dislike of Spanish. But it really, really makes me angry, stressed, and more.
It's pushing me in a really bad direction. Before today, I was determined to get a 4.0 Now I'm really really tempted to just not give a piece of crap about it, and slack off on assignments for the rest of the year. I miss textbook work and worksheets....
-----WELL-NEEDED CHANGE OF SUBJECT-----
In OTHER news, I won a small contest on deviantart! (An art community website, I believe I've mentioned it before). There were only three entrants, including myself, so it was a rather smalltime deal, but I still won! And my winning has inspired me to write more, which is really cool because I like writing. Here's the link to my winning entry: http://underoathboy777.deviantart.com/art/Dragon-Gem-83107315
Hope you enjoy reading it.
I'd better get cracking on all those freaking assignments, so adios, hope your Monday is/was less stressful than mine!
2 comments:
Seth, here's two sets of questions for you to ponder.
1. Why do you value a 4.0 so much that it causes such deep stress? What is tied to that achievement for you and why?
2. Sweet story. I like it and congrats on your award. But, if it was an allegory about you, where would your spanish class fit into the moral of your story? Is it possible that it is not quite it has seen.
Just chill dude, there's no value to a 4.0 if you die from a stress-induced medical condition. Maybe you need to scale back on some stuff? I don't do anything at home but still am able to get all my work done, so idk man.
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