An Update

I haven't updated this blog in awhile.
So here's an update.

Today was just kind of sucky.
Part of it was my attitude about stuff, and part of it was it just sucked.

I have been feeling really left out and missing my encounter friends.

And I really have to let this out, no offense to anyone who's a part of it, but basically a lot of people in Encounter who're musically inclined decided they'd make a band, with like nine members.

And I wasn't invited.

I know I don't have to be invited to be a part of everything, but it still kind of hurt to be purposefully left out.

And now on sundays I'll like ask people if they want to hang out and they'll be like "well I'm either going to stay here for band practice or just go home." and I'm like well dang, that's great, I don't get to hang out with my friends either way.

Being excluded really really sucks.

I don't even think I really would like to be in the band that much.
I'd just like to be included.

And that just made me realize how much more often I need to ask people how they're doing, but ask it like "no, really, how's your day going?" and not just take "fine" for an answer.

Because sometimes I really wish people would ask me that.



..Still no sign of license in sight by the way.
My mom told me if I brushed my teeth, flossed, washed my face, then used this astringent on my face, THEN used zit cream, for six weeks, we'd talk about my license.
Joy.
I guess I should be glad she's not making me do all that, AND use the water pick AND use the sonicare (electric vibrating toothbrush) AND making me use the fluoride rinse.
But just so many things happen throughout the day where I just want to get in my car and drive to mount helix or somewhere with a nice view that's quiet so I can think and be alone and away from everything else.




Next topic of rant:
saying "you can tell me anything." or "feel free to vent on me" etc.
So many people say that.
But in my opinion you shouldn't say someone can talk to you.
Because you should demonstrate that by your actions, they should feel just fine opening up to you and baring their soul because they've seen who you are, not what you say.
Blagh.
It just feels so cliche to say that.
I hate cliches so much
It makes things awkward at my school.
I feel like everything there is just one giant cliche.
Been there, seen that.
It's so different at church. It's real. No stupid statements. No quotes thrown all over the place (except the Bible which is definitely not cliche). No inspirational crap that always makes me feel more cynical. Just people, maybe not baring their souls, but wearing no masks either.
That's pretty much why my headline/quote on myspace is "quotes are overrated".

Hmm, what else to rant about.

Not much I guess.




I've been looking to sell my current laptop to a friend so I can buy my friend's macbook.
I could probably buy his laptop right now but I want to get rid of this one first.


Man, I wish OGN was right now.
I want like all my favorite worship songs, and dancing while I sing them.
And the intimacy of the whole experience.
It's no wonder I feel about 900 times closer to my church friends than school friends.