I'm not exactly sure what emotion this is.

It's not a good emotion, but it's not... like "Oh, here. It's this."

I could be angry, but I don't feel like, the passion anger gives. I'm a little to vanilla for anger.

I'm a bit hurt, but I don't feel very sad about it. Again, I'm too vanilla right now, to feel anywhere close to crying about it. And I'm not depressed.

I do feel a bit betrayed. Mostly because I just wasn't aware of... situation. See, nobody TELLS me anything.

I'm the last one to know.
I have to figure things out for myself, and then ask to make sure I haven't assumed anything incorrectly, or misinterpreted an observation. And asking's just kind of... awkward. I can tell, when I'm like that. I hate being THAT kind of a guy. Freaking eight years of homeschooling. I can completely FEEL when I'm being a naive socially awkward TWIT, and nobody's going to help me out.

(Example, I ask someone question. They don't reply, because it's either awkward/sensitive topic. I ask again, thinking they didn't hear. They don't even look at me. I drop it and sit there in silence wondering 1) Did I do something? 2) What the crap is going on?)

So yeah, maybe it's mostly betrayal. But I'm not.. mad. I don't want revenge. I just wish I'd be kept in the loop more, next time. Everyone just assumes I know. Mr. Quiet Observational Guy knows all. Yeah, right...

I don't know.
Maybe I'm not going to be able to look at the person or people, the same now. I'll try. I mean, "Forgive seventy TIMES seven" (I think) and really, it ISN'T a big enough deal for me to like... Start treating people badly over. But it's like... a slight shift. Not quite the same.